Adventures of Johnny Tao, A Kung Fu Fable is the story of Johnny Dow. Johnny is a down on his luck guy who it trying to squeak out a living by running his gas station in a nearly abandoned rural town. The gas station is not just a place to fill up however. Inside is Johnny’s museum of memorabilia of his father’s musical career. The centerpiece of his collection is his father’s guitar, which, according to legend, was carved from an ancient spear that his father found in the crater of a shooting star. Continue reading →

“Let’s Play Global Thermonuclear War” sound familiar? One of my favorite 80’s movies was Wargames. Back in the day where computers were mysterious and still a somewhat “new” technology, Matthew Brodrick was computer geek David Lightman, who accidentally hacks into the Airforce response system for Soviet attack. God Bless the 80’s! Well, MGM has created a sequel to the classic 1983 movie Wargames, updated with the technology and world issues of today. Wargames Deadzone is the story of Will Farmer, a computer hacker who engages a super-computer named Ripley in an online terrorist-attack simulation game that is designed specifically to profile potential threats to the United States. When Homeland Security becomes convinced that Farmer is indeed a potential threat, he must do all in his power to clear his name and end the game. Wargames Deadzone is available from MGM Home Entertainment beginning on July 29th BUT….MGM has been gracious enough to provide Switchplanet with 3 copies to give to our loyal Switchers! To enter, simply go to my profile HERE and leave me a comment that says “Wouldn’t you prefer a nice game of chess?” (humor me, I’m a child of the 80’s and have seen Wargames a hundred times!) Easy? absolutely. The contest will run until August 4th so don’t forget to enter.

Vengeance is the story of several Police Officers who are pursuing a band of escaped criminals. The criminals enter the enchanted forest which, as legend tells is cursed. As the policemen, led by Captain Wut pursue, they are about to discover it is all true. After being attacked by the flesh stripping Tiger Wasps, vampiric Fruit Tree Maidens and the Silver Serpents, they all converge on the ancient hidden village in the middle of the forest. And that is when things start getting weird….. Continue reading →

PLOT

Plotwise, 3-D movies have long passed their time. Since the 80’s, when movies like Amityville 3-D came out, you’ve been paying to see 3-D effects. They hardly qualify as movies anymore. For example, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over…and Journey To The Centre Of The Earth 3-D is no exception. And sadly, I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone who payed $10 of their hard earned cash to see it.

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Tobe Hooper’s Mortuary revolves around the Doyle family and their relocation to the Fowler Brothers Funeral Home in a small town in California. After the death of Leslie’s (played by Denise Crosby) husband, she takes her two kids, Jonathan and Jamie and moves to the town to begin a new career as a mortician. Local lore has it that Fowler Brothers Funeral Home and the surrounding cemetary are haunted, not only by the spirits of the dead bueried there but also by the hideously deformed Fowler boy, Bobby. The locals believe that he lives in one of the tombs there on the property. Continue reading →

Salvage revolved around Claire Parker. Claire is a typical 19 year old college student who starts having trouble sleeping. When she dozes off, she finds herself in a nightmarish dream world. Although the locations seem to vary her dreams inevitably end up with Claire being pursued and often brutally beaten, stabbed and ultimately killed by local serial killer Duke Desmond. To add to her confusion, in reality, Duke was just shot and killed by the police the week prior. With even her boyfriend doubting her claims, Claire tries in vain to understand why she is experiencing these nightmarish visions and eventually even goes to the killer’s house looking for clues. If I had to sum up Salvage in a sentence, I would say it feels like Groundhog Day written and directed by Clive Barker!
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Bruce and Lloyd are a couple of Research and Development geeks who reluctantly are forced to leave the comfort of the agency lab (Out of CONTROL, get it?!) and track down a new invisibility cloak that has been stolen from them before the Underchief finds out. Continue reading →

I know, I know, it’s not Friday but I do like to try to get reviews out in a timely manner and since Shutter is coming out today(Tuesday the 15th) I figured I could just tweak the title graphic a bit and no one would notice….

Newlyweds Ben and Jane have just relocated to Japan for Ben’s photography assignment. On a rather deserted, dark stretch of road, Jane takes her eyes off the road long enough for a woman to appear in their path. Jane swerves but still runs over the woman and the car collides into a tree on the side of the road. As she loses consciousness, Jane sees the woman get up and crawl off the road. When they regain consciousness, neither Ben nor Jane see any sign of the girl. Continue reading →

Asylum follows around freshman, Maya as she moves into the dorm on her first day of college. As displayed in flashbacks, Maya lives with the pain of watching her father commit suicide when she was quite young. She quickly meets the standard assortment of college fodder, including the hacker, party guy, obnoxious RA and hot girl and they all start hanging out together in their new home away from home. The group’s new dorm comes with an omnious history. Several years prior to the college opening, the dorm building was actually and asylum, run by the evil Dr. Burke. The Doctor practiced very unorthodox methods of treatment on his patients, including performing lobotomies via two large spikes under the eye sockets to the brain. Eventually the inmates seized an opportunity to escape the asylum and killed the doctor in the process but, although dead, the Doctor’s ghost still stalks the building, feeding off the pain of the students he encounters. Continue reading →

Originally released in 1959, The Man Who Could Cheat Death is a classic Hammer Horror film starring Anton Diffring, Hazel Court and Hammer Regular, Christopher Lee. The story centers around Dr. Georges Bonnet (Diffring), a psychiatrist and aspiring sculptor. Dr. Bonnet has solved the riddle to immortality without physically showing any signs of aging. The one catch, though (there’s always a catch!) is that every 10 years he must have an operation where some of his glands are removed and replaced with those from other humans. Inititially, Dr Diffring uses glands of the recently deceased but, unfortunately, sometimes he does not have access to them so he has to resort to other, more deadly options to maintain his youth. Continue reading →